REALLY, TLC? REALLY?
Xas me mulenge kokala.
Actually, I hate to say it.. but this is actually a bit true.
O.o
There are families I know today who don’t talk for things done before WWII…
*shakes head*
I think its probably fair to say that a good amount of people hold deep feelings towards arguments, feeling as if theyve been betrayed or humiliated, etc. I think a good amount of people hold onto historical grudges, etc, etc. It seems a fairly natural human thing to do.
Last night I watched another episode of “My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding.”
I have only seen 2 episodes thus far. My significant other seems to enjoy the show. So far I have found it to much much more tame than its UK counterpart. But, ive only seen two episodes.
Last night the episode was about a gadzi and a Rom who were marrying. Theyd already a child out of wedlock.
I, myself, was forced to look at my own prejudices when I gasped and thought “Oh my Gods! I CANNOT BELIEVE HE HAD A KID WITH A GADZI OUT OF WEDLOCK!” If that had happened when I was growing up…shed have been sent away.
A lot of what I see on that show mirrors my own upbringing. Not the bling or any of that bullshit (I still do NOT understand where that comes from)….but the sort of..erm..hmmm
uncouth way of the people. I find them to be VERY Southern. I find them to be quite typical SOUTHERNERS…Rromany/i or not.
Generally (and generally I hate making generalizations but I am going to, this time) people who are lower middle or lower class…are a bit more uncouth than higher class. We cant help it. Yes, I say ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘no ma’am’ and all that good shit. But, I am a fighter. I have a mouth like a mother fucking sailor, and I do not act ‘mannerly.’ I wasnt raised to know how to do so. I was raised with lower class manners, not upper class ones. And, there IS a difference.
So, being a Southern Rromni…I am seeing many similarities between my own upbringing as both a Rromni AND a Southerner.
I mean..anything and everything in that show..I saw in the neighborhood I grew up in…..and I didnt grow up in a Gypsy neighborhood.
I met Dmitrys aunt and mother the other day. I was surprised and ….quite happy when his mom asked me if I speak Rromani and made SURE to ask me if she was using the proper term. I told her I speak a little..and she gasped and said “That is a big accomplishment..not many people still speak Rromani today.” And I shook my head.
It felt..good to have an ethnic Russian woman speak nicely and be impressed by my ethnic heritage when hers has hurt mine so badly. Small things like this, I see as individual victories in a long painful battle.
His aunt also seemed quite excited and asked me if I can sing any Rromani songs..she said “like traditional..so beautiful!”
So beautiful! :)
To illustrate what I deal with on a daily basis here is an email I received from “christel-von-der-post@eurovibes.org” … which by the way is NOT a website and is most likely part of an anonymous relay service to hide the original senders IP address.
You think you’re safe? You think any of you…
Lol @ this guy …y u mad bro?
Baro gozva today! Sastipe my friends!
I love you all, and respect your opinions, but at this point I don’t care where you stand on the whole ‘gypsy’ controversy.
So you don’t care. Fuck you and your fake ass bullshit.
Be upset, call me ignorant, call me…
Nah I will pass on being friends with you. Not because youre gadze…but because youre dumb as fuck. Go sit down and sing Kumbaya with all your dumbfuck white friends, bish.
I had him send me the lyrics:
Razves’oliye tsigane
Po Moldavii gul’ali
I v odnom sel’e bogatom
Vorona kon’a ukrali.
A yescho oni ukrali
Moloduyu moldavanku
Posadili na polyanku
Vospitali kak tsiganku.
Navsegda on a propala
Pod t’enyu zagara
U neyo v rukah gitara
Gitara gitara.
Pozabyla vse shto bylo
I ne vidit v tom poteri
Ah vernis’ vernis’ vernis’
Nu ogl’anis’ po krayney mere.
Myla v rechke bosy nogi
V pyl’niy buben bila zvonko
I odnazhdy iz berlogi
Utoschila medvezhonka
Posadila na pol’anu
Vospitala kak tsigana
Nauchila bit’ baklushi
Krast’ igrushki iz karmana.
Navsegda pro mamu s papoy
Zabyl medvezhonok
Prizhimayet k serdtsu lapu
I prosit den’zhonok.
Derzhit shl’apu vniz tul’yoyu
Tak zhivut odnoy s’emyoyu
Kak horoshiye sosedi
L’udi koni i medvedi.
Podoroge pozabyl’i
Kto ukral a kto ukraden
I odna popona pyl’i
Na kon’e i konokrade.
Nikomu iz nih ne strashen
Ni kakoy n’edug ni hvorost’
Po nocham poyut i plyashut
Da v kostry brosayut hvorost.
A tsiganka dobrim l’ud’am
Prohozhih vorozhit
Vse shto bylo vse shto bud’et
Raskazhet kak mozhet.
Shtozhe s ney begl’ankoy bylo
Shtozhe s ney tsigankoy budet
Vs’o shto bylo pozabyla
Vs’o shto budet pozabudet.
Last night my friend Mitya (Russian) played me a song that hed really wanted me to hear. It was about a Gypsy girl.
The only two words I understood word “Cigany” and “Ciganka.” Anyhow…when I asked him what the English translation of the song was…it was basically about Gypsies stealing a gadze child and taking the child back to their camp. She learned guitar and forgot all about her gadze lifestyle. The girl trained a bear, and soon the bear forgot all about his former bear lifestyle and they both spent their days “with a hat in their hand” (begging).
I told him that this kind of song is offensive. He said its…romantic. I told him its not romantic as thats not how the Rroma really live, and the Rroma (as a practice) dont steal children. We can have our own.
He said hed not thought of it in that way, but takes the song in sort of a historical/romantic context as some years ago Rroma did take to the road, train bears, etc, etc. He said there are many Russian songs about Gypsies.
It has been difficult lately to integrate my-self. The more I become open to talking with people about being Roma, the more I open myself to criticism from both sides.
One thing I’ve had leveled at me a lot lately, is the ‘white privilege’ argument. usually it consists of several arguments:
- …
I think it would be difficult to transition from living in a place where…..your ethnicity HAS TO BE something you keep in mind all of the time. A place where if you make one wrong move….and that mistake turns into a mistake made due to you being Rroma….to living somewhere ..where being Rroma is relatively unknown. I would carry that attitude with me. The attitude that my ethnicity = systematic institutionalized racism …even when, in this country, being Rroma doesnt necessarily mean those things. I think being Rroma in America is a minor nuisance whereas being Rroma in Europe…well..there arent any words really for what its like being Rroma in Europe. Its so far beyond my reach that, despite the fact I am AWARE of the hate, the oppression and persecution….I still cannot fathom it.
I have been communicating with a Russian guy a bit. Hes a local transplant from Moscow. I think he finds it …intriguing that I am Rromani, or poshratt Rromani.
At the end of our conversation today he said…
“If we ever meet in person..you wont steal me..will you? You know according to legend..Gypsies steal people..”
And I didnt let it get to me. I twinged for a second and then said….
“Nah. We only steal babies…… .. ..according to legend ::wink”
There are.
Actually, I’m one of them… though not often here (I tend to tag gypsy)… and I’ll explain why:
Firstly, I’d never say “my grandmother was gypsy”.. as a marker of respect I’d say Roma or Romni. But, lately I’ve been realizing some things and they’re difficult and painful things.
The more confident I become at talking about my own ethnicity, the more I will actually talk to people about it. This causes a problem in that when I say “I am actually Roma” people look at me blankly, struggling through the shelves in their minds, hurrying to find the ethnic jar labeled “Roma”. Unfortunately, for most people, that jar doesn’t exist. So, they ask, “Oh, you mean Romanian?” or “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that?”… or even “I don’t know what that is”.
So, I have two options—either ignore their comments and say something like “No, not Romanian, Roma” and hope that satisfies them…or I have to get into a long discussion of how gypsy has been used synonymously with Roma but really it covers a whole bunch of ethnicities… and how it’s a slur and has been used blah blah blah.
To be honest, I am so tired of explaining my ethnicity. I am so tired of having to qualify myself as a word I hate.
But, what options do I have at this point? It’s the same for many of us. We hate the word, but we are forced to use it to describe ourselves and our families.
HOWEVER.
It seems very obvious to me that someone claiming heritage like “my gran was gypsy” doesn’t know anything about the culture or the language at all. They wouldn’t use that term to describe their ethnicity when defending a post to another Roma. They’d say something like “my grandma was Ruska Roma” or “German Sinti” or “Yerlish”, and not just “gypsy”.
I get that people don’t always know the true history of their families, especially those of Roma or other ‘gypsy’ descent—however, if you are going to throw around ethnicity as privilege, then you really shouldn’t just call people ‘gypsy’… because that just proves you don’t know what you’re talking about.There are.
I refer to myself as a Gypsy! It is a catch 22, and golden-zephyr said it best….
I have an ambiguous relationship with that word. I feel as if I HAVE to identify myself as “Gypsy” for people to even begin to understand my ethnic background. Even then its a stretch, and that bothers me a lot. However, I also refer to myself as a Gypsy here and there with no second thought about it.
I recently read something written by an amazing Rom (who I can’t name, or share what they wrote.. for reasons)… but it made me think a great deal about what I talk about here and how I talk about it.
I have fallen into the trap… the trap of letting my feelings define my experience. I feel shut…
I have had an incredibly bad experience with American Romanichel and I cannot accept their racist attitudes towards Rroma or anyone else. When I get called a Turk, and Blacks get called chollas or niggers….I just cant deal. I realize that this is my own personal experience, but this racist ideology is prevalent among one of the largest Romanichal groups in the USA - In Houston and surrounding areas in Texas.
I understand that their struggles have made them want to fiercely ally with white people. I understand that. But you dont do that by jumping on the backs of others and creating some perceived benefit from their pain, the pain you cause them, by treating them like subhumans.
Hungary Insight Guide (Insight Guides)
This guide includes a section detailing Hungary’s history, eight features covering aspects of the country’s life and culture, ranging from its gypsy way of life to its hot springs and spas, a region by region visitor’s guide to the…
A good travel tip is to not EVER SAY YOURE LOOKING FOR THE GYPSY WAY OF LIFE if youre in Hungary, lest you get beat…or worse.
They forgot to add that.
Strength.
Takaci or Sila.
Zojarla means to make strong.
Its time to make US strong.
Reading a great book about the Rroma and they touched on heroin addiction among the Rroma.
Kinda made my chest hurt a little.
