Last night I watched another episode of “My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding.”
I have only seen 2 episodes thus far. My significant other seems to enjoy the show. So far I have found it to much much more tame than its UK counterpart. But, ive only seen two episodes.
Last night the episode was about a gadzi and a Rom who were marrying. Theyd already a child out of wedlock.
I, myself, was forced to look at my own prejudices when I gasped and thought “Oh my Gods! I CANNOT BELIEVE HE HAD A KID WITH A GADZI OUT OF WEDLOCK!” If that had happened when I was growing up…shed have been sent away.
A lot of what I see on that show mirrors my own upbringing. Not the bling or any of that bullshit (I still do NOT understand where that comes from)….but the sort of..erm..hmmm
uncouth way of the people. I find them to be VERY Southern. I find them to be quite typical SOUTHERNERS…Rromany/i or not.
Generally (and generally I hate making generalizations but I am going to, this time) people who are lower middle or lower class…are a bit more uncouth than higher class. We cant help it. Yes, I say ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘no ma’am’ and all that good shit. But, I am a fighter. I have a mouth like a mother fucking sailor, and I do not act ‘mannerly.’ I wasnt raised to know how to do so. I was raised with lower class manners, not upper class ones. And, there IS a difference.
So, being a Southern Rromni…I am seeing many similarities between my own upbringing as both a Rromni AND a Southerner.
I mean..anything and everything in that show..I saw in the neighborhood I grew up in…..and I didnt grow up in a Gypsy neighborhood.
I met Dmitrys aunt and mother the other day. I was surprised and ….quite happy when his mom asked me if I speak Rromani and made SURE to ask me if she was using the proper term. I told her I speak a little..and she gasped and said “That is a big accomplishment..not many people still speak Rromani today.” And I shook my head.
It felt..good to have an ethnic Russian woman speak nicely and be impressed by my ethnic heritage when hers has hurt mine so badly. Small things like this, I see as individual victories in a long painful battle.
His aunt also seemed quite excited and asked me if I can sing any Rromani songs..she said “like traditional..so beautiful!”
So beautiful! :)
To illustrate what I deal with on a daily basis here is an email I received from “christel-von-der-post@eurovibes.org” … which by the way is NOT a website and is most likely part of an anonymous relay service to hide the original senders IP address.
You think you’re safe? You think any of you…
Lol @ this guy …y u mad bro?
Baro gozva today! Sastipe my friends!
Last night my friend Mitya (Russian) played me a song that hed really wanted me to hear. It was about a Gypsy girl.
The only two words I understood word “Cigany” and “Ciganka.” Anyhow…when I asked him what the English translation of the song was…it was basically about Gypsies stealing a gadze child and taking the child back to their camp. She learned guitar and forgot all about her gadze lifestyle. The girl trained a bear, and soon the bear forgot all about his former bear lifestyle and they both spent their days “with a hat in their hand” (begging).
I told him that this kind of song is offensive. He said its…romantic. I told him its not romantic as thats not how the Rroma really live, and the Rroma (as a practice) dont steal children. We can have our own.
He said hed not thought of it in that way, but takes the song in sort of a historical/romantic context as some years ago Rroma did take to the road, train bears, etc, etc. He said there are many Russian songs about Gypsies.
It has been difficult lately to integrate my-self. The more I become open to talking with people about being Roma, the more I open myself to criticism from both sides.
One thing I’ve had leveled at me a lot lately, is the ‘white privilege’ argument. usually it consists of several arguments:
- …
I think it would be difficult to transition from living in a place where…..your ethnicity HAS TO BE something you keep in mind all of the time. A place where if you make one wrong move….and that mistake turns into a mistake made due to you being Rroma….to living somewhere ..where being Rroma is relatively unknown. I would carry that attitude with me. The attitude that my ethnicity = systematic institutionalized racism …even when, in this country, being Rroma doesnt necessarily mean those things. I think being Rroma in America is a minor nuisance whereas being Rroma in Europe…well..there arent any words really for what its like being Rroma in Europe. Its so far beyond my reach that, despite the fact I am AWARE of the hate, the oppression and persecution….I still cannot fathom it.
I recently read something written by an amazing Rom (who I can’t name, or share what they wrote.. for reasons)… but it made me think a great deal about what I talk about here and how I talk about it.
I have fallen into the trap… the trap of letting my feelings define my experience. I feel shut…
I have had an incredibly bad experience with American Romanichel and I cannot accept their racist attitudes towards Rroma or anyone else. When I get called a Turk, and Blacks get called chollas or niggers….I just cant deal. I realize that this is my own personal experience, but this racist ideology is prevalent among one of the largest Romanichal groups in the USA - In Houston and surrounding areas in Texas.
I understand that their struggles have made them want to fiercely ally with white people. I understand that. But you dont do that by jumping on the backs of others and creating some perceived benefit from their pain, the pain you cause them, by treating them like subhumans.
Strength.
Takaci or Sila.
Zojarla means to make strong.
Its time to make US strong.
Reading a great book about the Rroma and they touched on heroin addiction among the Rroma.
Kinda made my chest hurt a little.
I have no issue with the word ‘Gypsy’ when it comes from a fellow Rroma. I refer to myself as a Gypsy quite often. But it is paradoxical because…
I hate explaining what Rroma is. It always goes the same way.
Me: I am Rromani.
Person: Oh? Romanian?
Me: No..no..Rromani and Romanian are not the same thing….
Person: (interrupts) ..What is Rromani?
Me: ummm…eh..well……..a Gypsy…
And then you have to explain what being Rroma is. And then they wont/dont understand, etc, etc, etc.
Anyway, I was just thinking about how I refer to myself as a Gypsy and dont have a general problem with it when used by Rroma, but when I have to use it to explain my ethnicity to a gadze…I do not like it.
Todays word is: sick.
Nambormo….or I think a more popular word for sick or ill is nasvalo
I am quite sick today. My throat is swollen and halfway closed, and my body aches. I dont get sick often, but this is the second time this year ive felt so badly. I am quite the home-body…meaning I dont get out often and I never drink. This week I got drunk twice and went out like every single night so..lol..needless to say I think I overexerted myself but FUCK IT! It was for a great cause!
(if youre reblogging this for the word of the day..feel free to delete my little input at the end there, lol)
Ive been super late on this, I know. I havent been keeping up. Its a bad habit of mine..but I try! It generally works best when I wake up with a word in my head or encounter something and I think “oh thats a good word ill use it!”
Well, ive got one for ya!
Devil-like or Devilish.
Bengalo or Bengano.
This is one of my favorites.
is one of my favourite Lotfitka phrases.
It means a “dark and thick forest”
My grandmother would tell stories of the čemnò ľignjò veš and the vošesko bilačho (evil spirits) who lived there. These were the bormolikò veš (haunted forest). The worst creatures who resided there were the…
This creeps me out. When I was growing up (living with my mother and grandmother)…the house next to us stayed empty for a very long time and my grandmother told me it was inhabited by goblins. I believed it so much that sometimes I would think I caught a glimpse of one, through the old window curtains.
