Last night I watched another episode of “My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding.”
I have only seen 2 episodes thus far. My significant other seems to enjoy the show. So far I have found it to much much more tame than its UK counterpart. But, ive only seen two episodes.
Last night the episode was about a gadzi and a Rom who were marrying. Theyd already a child out of wedlock.
I, myself, was forced to look at my own prejudices when I gasped and thought “Oh my Gods! I CANNOT BELIEVE HE HAD A KID WITH A GADZI OUT OF WEDLOCK!” If that had happened when I was growing up…shed have been sent away.
A lot of what I see on that show mirrors my own upbringing. Not the bling or any of that bullshit (I still do NOT understand where that comes from)….but the sort of..erm..hmmm
uncouth way of the people. I find them to be VERY Southern. I find them to be quite typical SOUTHERNERS…Rromany/i or not.
Generally (and generally I hate making generalizations but I am going to, this time) people who are lower middle or lower class…are a bit more uncouth than higher class. We cant help it. Yes, I say ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘no ma’am’ and all that good shit. But, I am a fighter. I have a mouth like a mother fucking sailor, and I do not act ‘mannerly.’ I wasnt raised to know how to do so. I was raised with lower class manners, not upper class ones. And, there IS a difference.
So, being a Southern Rromni…I am seeing many similarities between my own upbringing as both a Rromni AND a Southerner.
I mean..anything and everything in that show..I saw in the neighborhood I grew up in…..and I didnt grow up in a Gypsy neighborhood.
I met Dmitrys aunt and mother the other day. I was surprised and ….quite happy when his mom asked me if I speak Rromani and made SURE to ask me if she was using the proper term. I told her I speak a little..and she gasped and said “That is a big accomplishment..not many people still speak Rromani today.” And I shook my head.
It felt..good to have an ethnic Russian woman speak nicely and be impressed by my ethnic heritage when hers has hurt mine so badly. Small things like this, I see as individual victories in a long painful battle.
His aunt also seemed quite excited and asked me if I can sing any Rromani songs..she said “like traditional..so beautiful!”
So beautiful! :)
I love you all, and respect your opinions, but at this point I don’t care where you stand on the whole ‘gypsy’ controversy.
So you don’t care. Fuck you and your fake ass bullshit.
Be upset, call me ignorant, call me…
Nah I will pass on being friends with you. Not because youre gadze…but because youre dumb as fuck. Go sit down and sing Kumbaya with all your dumbfuck white friends, bish.
Last night my friend Mitya (Russian) played me a song that hed really wanted me to hear. It was about a Gypsy girl.
The only two words I understood word “Cigany” and “Ciganka.” Anyhow…when I asked him what the English translation of the song was…it was basically about Gypsies stealing a gadze child and taking the child back to their camp. She learned guitar and forgot all about her gadze lifestyle. The girl trained a bear, and soon the bear forgot all about his former bear lifestyle and they both spent their days “with a hat in their hand” (begging).
I told him that this kind of song is offensive. He said its…romantic. I told him its not romantic as thats not how the Rroma really live, and the Rroma (as a practice) dont steal children. We can have our own.
He said hed not thought of it in that way, but takes the song in sort of a historical/romantic context as some years ago Rroma did take to the road, train bears, etc, etc. He said there are many Russian songs about Gypsies.
short answer: YES.
Gadže have no business doing that. Why would you even? That’s appropriation to the highest degree. Would you wear a hijab to show your devotion to God without being Muslim?
Yes, it does mean that much. You’ve no idea…
I wear headcovers a LOT. I dont really call them diklo or anything like that. Im usually just wrapping my nappy head up, lol.
short answer: YES.
Gadže have no business doing that. Why would you even? That’s appropriation to the highest degree. Would you wear a hijab to show your devotion to God without being Muslim?
Yes, it does mean that much. You’ve no idea…
My words to this anonymous would be:
We, Rroma, arent the only ones who wear headscarves as a sign of marriage. If you wear a diklo as a sign of marriage..youre also wearing tzniut, etc. Scarves around ones head seem to be a pretty universal thing for humanity. Tying your scarf a certain way or wearing it for a certain reason doesnt make it a diklo, or a hijab, or tzniut. I am not a Muslim, so when I cover my head in devotion to God, I am not wearing Hijab. I am covering my head in devotion to God. That is my ideology. For a married gadze who covers her head, she is not wearing diklo..she is covering her head as a sign of marriage. That is her ideology and is not necessarily a reflection of any tradition in particular.
So, if you want to cover your head for ANY reason…do it. It doesnt have to be OUR words you use. It doesnt have to be someone elses tradition. Let it be YOURS. Eastern European, African, Indian, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Jain…..so many cultures and religions use headscarves for whatever reasons. Yours doesnt have to fall into, or fit into the reasoning behind headcoverings for anyone but yourself. I think this is a mistake that lots of gadze make..is that in their desire to feel ethnic or in their desire to identify with SOME kind of culture (because, lets face it, as Americans many lost our cultures or had them taken away from us)…they begin to appropriate blindly. Thats not good. But adapting a part of someones culture that you love…into your OWN style, into your own being..and doing so respectfully and beautifully is never wrong. We have to celebrate each other. That doesnt mean assimilation…it means celebration. I am not offended that a gadze wants to wear diklo…I just ask this:
Why? Why diklo? What are the reasons behind it and do you feel they are just? And why not just wear a headscarf as a sign of marriage without tying a culture not your own into it?
Strength.
Takaci or Sila.
Zojarla means to make strong.
Its time to make US strong.
I have no issue with the word ‘Gypsy’ when it comes from a fellow Rroma. I refer to myself as a Gypsy quite often. But it is paradoxical because…
I hate explaining what Rroma is. It always goes the same way.
Me: I am Rromani.
Person: Oh? Romanian?
Me: No..no..Rromani and Romanian are not the same thing….
Person: (interrupts) ..What is Rromani?
Me: ummm…eh..well……..a Gypsy…
And then you have to explain what being Rroma is. And then they wont/dont understand, etc, etc, etc.
Anyway, I was just thinking about how I refer to myself as a Gypsy and dont have a general problem with it when used by Rroma, but when I have to use it to explain my ethnicity to a gadze…I do not like it.
Ive been super late on this, I know. I havent been keeping up. Its a bad habit of mine..but I try! It generally works best when I wake up with a word in my head or encounter something and I think “oh thats a good word ill use it!”
Well, ive got one for ya!
Devil-like or Devilish.
Bengalo or Bengano.
This is one of my favorites.
I have had a rough night. Lets just say I was listening to too much “Tears in Heaven.”
So, todays word..is pain. Pain as in grief. Emotional pain.
Dukh (doo-kh)
If something is painful, it is dukhavdo (doo-khav-doe)
If something is painful, emotionally..it is dukhalipe (doo-kha-lee-peh)
Si ma dukha. I have pain. Cidav ma..I pick myself up and brush myself off.
Todays word is: Sunshine!
Its almost time for spring ^_^
Sunshine in my dialect of Rromani is:
Sunčano (soon-chah-no) …this is more like “sunny.”
Kham is sun!
Todays word is: Friend!
Friend in my dialect of Rromani is: Amal
A friendship is: Amalipe
Just a quick bitch. It bothers me tremendously that Gogol Bordello has popularized the word “Gypsy.” They have non Rromani kids screaming “GYPSY PUNK!” at every turn and seem to be doing little to educate anyone on the history of that word?
If Eugene Hutz, who identifies as Rroma, wants to use that word..thats his choice. I say Gypsy and often refer to myself as a Gypsy in conversations with gadze because its tiring not to, sometimes.
I am wondering what are some of you guys (Rroma and gadze) opinions about this?
Should Gogol Bordello, as a band, stop using the word? Should they try to educate others on the history of the word and explain why gadze fans should think twice before using it?
